Best Of
It’s been five months since Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla struck the market.
But that’s not why we’re here.
Story arcs are what drive Valhalla to its final curtain call.
We definitely didn’t need a strategy guide to solve this one. Cross our hearts.
Or at least the majority of them do, anyway.
However, it’s these five mind-numbing quests that had our eyes rolling the heaviest.
Cue the excuses, Ubisoft.
We definitely didn’t need a strategy guide to solve this one. Cross our hearts.
Well-Travelled (Asgard)
We definitely didn’t need a strategy guide to solve this one.
Of course, unsealing the sacred Well of Urd doesn’t come across as an overwhelmingly difficult challenge.
After all, it’s just connecting a few lights, right?
I don’t know about you — but I prefer not to fish for eels after burning somebodies home down. What say you, little lord? Oh, that’s right — of course you do.
Wrong it’s connecting several lights and then doing some absurd trickery with a glass shard somewhere.
What say you, little lord?
Oh, that’s right of course you do.
Because assuming the role of matchmaker is far better than Viking. Come on, Ubisoft — pull yourself together.
And that’s fishing.
Eel fishing, to be precise.
As if that’s something we want to do after torching a village and reducing it to ashes.
Did we just dream that — or did we actually spend thirty minutes knocking on doors for cake? Like — what? Why, Ubi? Why?
The fact is fishing in Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla isn’t fun.
Sounds easy enough, right?
Well, try saying that when going toe to fin with the school of slithery so-and-sos.
—We’ll stop you right there, Eivor. We’ve heard it all before.
Essexe
Because assuming the role of matchmaker is far better than Viking.
Come on, Ubisoft pull yourself together.
Essexe, of course, was definitely one of them.
I don’t buy it.
That’s where we lost it.
You know, all the pointless filler you’d expect to find in a game of this calibre.
Though, perhaps not fifty hours in.
It’s tutorial worthy at best let’s just leave it at that.
Jorvik
We’ll stop you right there, Eivor.
We’ve heard it all before.
And boy talk about a poor excuse for a filler story.
Kill him, kill her report back to Randvi to tell her the good news.
Just another pile of pointless filler that Ubisoft lacked the motivation to tweak into a convincing story.
Tut tut, Ubi.
Can’t say we didn’t expect more.
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